Category Archives: Personal

Tolerance vs. Respect

So recently I was chatting with a coworker who gave me a lot to ponder. I involves (as you might guess from my title) tolerance vs. respect. His point was that he dislikes the term tolerance. He said, “Anyone can tolerate another person for a short while in a social setting, being tolerant of someone is as good as lying to them. Instead of tolerating a person’s race, religion, sexual orientation, etc., you should respect them. Respect their differences even if you may not agree with them.”

In this day and age where it seems that the “US vs THEM” message is stuffed down our throats by our politicians, religious institutions, and media, respect is a rare thing. There are a lot of groups that I don’t like or agree with, but I respect the right of most of them to exist (I draw the line at racists, hate groups, and those who want to hurt others). Just because you’re different than me or have different beliefs doesn’t mean we can’t sit down and have an intelligent and thoughtful conversation. 

I will not tolerate you, I’ll respect you and I hope that you can do the same.

A break in the clouds…

So it looks like the house here in San Antonio is going to sell. We’re back on track for a Feb 24th departure to make the trek to Salem, OR. I’ve put in my two weeks notice and Randy and I are packing the house up at a good pace.

The Power of No

My superpower? I’m glad you asked. My superpower is being a total human doormat. Apparently I’m incapable of saying “NO” and meaning it. I might say no, but I rarely have the ability to follow through with it.


Person: I need you to do (insert imposition here) for me.

Me: I can’t right now.

Person: Come on, just this once (this is actually the 30th or 40th time I’ve done this for this person)?

Me: Ok…I guess if I rearrange my (insert life, finances, time, procedures) I could.

That’s my curse, I’m competent and reliable…and a pushover. Family, friends, and coworkers all know they can abuse my good nature and I’m not going to say a thing.

Standing up for myself has never been an easy thing for me to do. At 44 years old I’m realizing that I need to be more willing to say no and actually stick to it. It’s really true that nice guys finish last…because we’re always doing our work and everyone else’s too.

From now on, NO isn’t a word that means maybe in my vocabulary. It means that after careful consideration, I feel that the cost/benefit ratio of the proposal is too far in the cost column on my ledger and I will require a more balanced proposal before I agree.



Going Through Hell

Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”. What if that place is worse?

Every time I think the worst is behind me, another larger obstacle seems to crop up and impede my path. I constantly feel like a man stuck in the desert chasing mirages.

Good Night Sweet Princess

Let me start by saying that I love strong female heroes. Laura Croft, Jean Gray, Rogue, Storm, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Batwoman, Doctor Aki Ross (Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within), the 2016 Ghostbusters. These are just a few of the strong female characters I’ve grown up with and love, but the hero that started it all for me was Princess Leia played by the indomitable Carrie Fisher.

Princess Leia was the first strong female hero I saw on the big screen. She was no nonsense, take charge, funny, smart, tough as nails, and drop dead beautiful. She taught me that princesses weren’t helpless twits who needed some big strong knight to save their honor or their life. Princess Leia was a bad ass.

Carrie Fisher wasn’t just an actress to so many of us who grew up watching her and dreaming about adventures in a galaxy far, far away…she was our Princess.

Though Carrie had some tough times throughout her life, and struggled with addiction and mental health issues, she loved her fans and we loved her.

“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who
transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not.
Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. ” -Yoda
RIP Carrie. Your light has not been diminished by your passing, it lives on in all the people who loved you. May the Force be with you.

Republican Plans to Repeal Marriage Equality

Republicans Could Repeal Marriage Equality in 3 Easy Steps. Here’s How: WATCH

Via-Towleroad News by Andy Towle

Please watch: Matt Baume lays out the Republican plan for repealing marriage equality. Texas looks to be ready to completely ignore marriage equality. This is one of the main reasons that my husband and I are leaving TX and moving to a blue state. Hopefully we can ride out the Trump regime and stay married.

Moving on…

So it’s been a couple days that I haven’t posted anything. My husband and I have been busy with buying a house in OR so we can get the hell out of TX. As of Sunday afternoon we’ve got a verbal acceptance of our offer for what we hope will be our new home in OR. It’s scary picking up and moving 1700 miles, but also very exciting.

We’re heading to Portland for the Christmas break and I may not get many opportunities to post so check my twitter feed for the next week or so!

Happy Holidays to you all!