I’ve had anxiety issues my entire life, but for most of my life I’ve only suffered occasionally. In the last year though I’ve suffered two full blown panic attacks (one when I thought we weren’t going to be able to get financing on the new house, and another when just weeks after we moved to Oregon from Texas, Randy lost his job).

Let me tell you, there’s nothing quite as terrifying as a full on panic attack. Can’t catch my breath, heart beating out of control, feeling crushed…it’s no joke.

In the past meditation has been a great tool to re-center myself and cope with my anxiety, but lately it’s just not been very effective. It feels like with everything going on in the world, my job,  and my personal life that I’m getting diminishing returns on meditation.

I think it’s finally time that I seek help from a doctor. I’m tired of feeling like this all the time and making the people I care about miserable.

Morons who voted for Republicans now worry they will take away their health care—as promised

Via-Daily Kos by kos

A good friend of mine had a saying that I’m going to paraphrase, “A working person voting for Trump is like a chicken voting for Col. Sanders”. Trump and crew made no secret of the fact that they wanted to dismantle the Affordable Care Act and cripple Medicaid, but all you Trump supporters could see was “Make America Great Again”. You guys forgot to ask how Trump intended on “Making America Great Again” and instead focused on building a big beautiful wall, deportation squads, banning Muslims.

Congrats, you reap what you sow.

Even though it may seem like we don’t have a lot to be thankful for this Thankgiving, I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. For just one day let’s all enjoy the turkey on the table and not worry about the turkey that will soon be occupying the White House. 

This election has been stressful for myself and a lot of other people. For me, a stress eater it has been incredibly rough. I feel so worried all the time that I just can’t seem to say no to food, add to that my tendency to not want to work out when I’m depressed and presto, in the last 6 months I’ve gone from 175lbs to 190lbs.

The election isn’t my sole source of stress, 2016 has been a tough year…problems at work, the failing health of our old dog Gracie and having to put her down on the 7th, watching a good friend struggle with his own body image issues to the point that I’m not sure our friendship will ever be the same, the loss of so many of my favorite actors, authors, and singers has also made this year feel like one giant funeral. 2016 has been a giant kick in the balls.

All that stress was quickly eclipsed by the nomination of Trump by the GOP and the campaign that he ran. The constant attacks on Mexicans, Muslims, gays, Hillary, Republicans who didn’t kiss Trumps ring and pledge fealty, the press…it seemed that nothing that Trump did even registered as inappropriate to his followers. Things that would have immediately killed a normal campaign just boosted his popularity with his followers; asking Russia to hack a US Political candidate-nothing wrong with that, calling for a ban on Muslims-hell yeah, dishonoring a Gold Star family-oooh Donald don’t stop, having tape of Trump admiring to infidelity and talking about grabbing a woman by the pussy-oh yeah Donald we like it when you talk dirty, declaring that he won’t accept the validity of the election unless he won-OH GOD YES DONALD!!! You’ve got to give it to Trump…he couldn’t have pleasured his base more if he’d blown each and every one of them. Every Trump supporter walked into the voting booth with a raging boner and walked out smoking a cigarette in post coital bliss.

The crasser and meaner Donald got the more whipped up and bold his followers became. Now that he’s won (though not the popular vote) they are positively emboldened to come out of hiding and let their bigot-misogyny-xenophobic flags fly.

I don’t feel safe in my own country right now, and I know I’m not the only one. The feeling of helplessness and despair that so many of us feel right now is crushing. We will get through this, America has always been a great place…we don’t need a Cheeto skinned bag of hate to make our country great again. We’ll overcome the hate that has been spread by this orange buffoon and restore the dignity and grace of America. It’s going to be tough and require all of us to be strong.

My logical brain realizes that I need to take better care of myself, and I’m nearly to the point in my grief that I think I can start thinking healthy again, but for now I just need to process all this…and I need pie. Diet starts after Thanksgiving.