Relationships are hard, even under the best of circumstances…throw anxiety on top of that and it’s enough to make you want to curl up in a ball and cry sometimes. This all gets even more tricky when you throw in a polyamorous relationship.

Yes, my husband and I have a poly relationship with another man. No, I won’t get into the details of the relationship, our partner isn’t out and it’s not anyone else’s business.

One thing I will say about our partner is that he has similar issues with anxiety that I do. This has made the relationship more challenging, but it has also given me a unique perspective on my own anxiety and what it does to both of my partners.

I’m learning really quickly how big a jerk I can be when I let my anxiety take over. How my insecurity causes issues in the relationship. I’m learning that I am a lot more jealous a person than I thought I was. That I can be petty and manipulative without even thinking about it at the time.

I need to be better so that I don’t ruin my relationships. My guys mean everything to me and I don’t want to be the reason things fall apart.